Nickels and Dimes

In Virginia, we have to get our cars inspected every year at a state certified inspection station. There are hundreds of certified stations, with most being repair shops and car dealerships. As the inspection procedure is standardized, so is the price: $16.00 for a motor vehicle, $12.00 for a motorcycle, $51.00 for a tractor-trailer. So needless to say that upon completing my inspection at "Accurate Tune Plus" in Norfolk (an inspection that I failed, by the way...) I was a little miffed when the bill rang up as $20. Here's the conversation that ensued.



Me: $20? What are these two charges?
ShopGuy: $2 for tax and $2 for EPA.
Me: EPA? Whats that?
ShopGuy: That's the EPA charge. That's that environmental stuff they're doing now. We've gotta charge that for everyone. Man, that's some new stuff they've got us doing. I don't know.
Me: I don't know about that... state inspections are $16. I've never paid this much for a state inspection.
ShopGuy: Yeah, but I've gotta charge you tax and EPA
Me: [looking very skeptical] You sure about that?
ShopGuy: [starting to look nervous] um... yeah.
Me: Okay... if you're sure... then I'll pay it.

. . . . .

Granted, I knew I was getting ripped. But I've finally learned that you can't fight every battle... and on this particular day I had already decided in my mind to eat the difference on this one and let it ride. For me, it was going to be enough that he'd lost my future business and would probably end up on the blog as business to stay away from. But as he swiped my credit card and payment was completed, I noticed that ShopGuy was starting to look more and more nervous. And so as I walked away, I started to smirk... and the more I smirked the more nervous he got... and the more nervous he got the more I smirked.. and so we continued this cycle until I finally laughed out loud... and at that point I couldn't hold it anymore. It was time to have a little more fun with ShopGuy. So I walked back to the counter...

Me: Hey, let's talk about this tax charge now. What's the tax rate on car repairs?
ShopGuy: 5%
Me: That's interesting, because 5% of $16 is 80 cents.... How'd you get 2 dollars? [Lots of awkward silence as ShopGuy tries to choose his words carefully]

ShopGuy: Um... I rounded it to make the math easy.
Me: Hmmm. I see. 80 cents... rounded to 2 dollars. Didn't know that was legal. [more awkward silence...] You know... any half decent math teacher that comes in here is going to call you on that tax thing.
ShopGuy: Yessir.
Me: Have a good day.

. . . . .

So I go back outside to check on the car and ShopGuy has a quick conference with some other maintenance dude on the other side of the garage. A few seconds later, he is in front of me again trying to shove some crinkled up dollars into my hand.

ShopGuy: [still looking nervous... talking fast and shifting his weight from side to side]. Hey... you know what... I was wrong about the EPA thing. I apologize. This whole process is new man, so I didn't know. I thought I had to charge you that. Sorry about that, man.

Me: You know what... At this point, just keep it. I'm not even worried about it. Thanks anyway though.

ShopGuy: No... please... take it. I want to do right... And when you come back for re-inspection, I won't charge you the dollar that most people charge. It's a courtesy. I always do it for free. I don't believe in charging people for that. I do it as a courtesy.

. . . . .

As a courtesy? Did he say as a courtesy? Won't it be more like "free out of obligation" since he hiked up my bill by 20% which means I essentially pre-paid for FOUR re-inspections? What a joke. By now, his face was so ridden with guilt that I finally let it go, took the cash, and was on my way. But ohmygosh, I was laughing hysterically on the inside. As I drove away, all I could think about was how cool it would've been if I really was some kind of state auditor or something and had the ability to slap this guy with a huge fine for fraudulent charges and tax evasion. Oh man... that would've been awesome. Heck, I would've thrown some jail time in there, too, just to make an example of him.

It's people like him that give the good mechanics a bad name.

Either way, it made we wonder... how often do they get away with this? For some reason, repair shops are one of those places where people rarely question their bill amount. $4 may not seem like a lot, but if they overbill even 1/2 of their customers by 10 to 20%, those fraudulent charges add up and in the end you're talking about some serious swindling. [It reminded me of a gas station in Manhattan that used to habitually charge my credit card about 10 cents extra every time I filled up. Seems like nothing worth writing about. But given their location on West Side Highway, you can conceivably multiply that by the thousands of people that pump there each week... and now you're talking about some serious illegal cash flow]... On top of that, I'm willing to bet that the 150% increase in the tax that he charged me will mysteriously disappear by the time he gets around to reporting his sales tax figures to the IRS. Combine this with the fact that he documented these blunders on my receipt, and I all I can say is: That's Just Dumb! Its one thing to pull a fast one... but its another thing altogether to leave a paper trail in the process. In the end, ShopGuy lived another day to continue his business and his con-artistry on future customers. But I'm convinced that all of these things will catch up with him in due time.

As for the car itself, with over 10 years and 150K miles, I hold my breath every year when inspection time rolls around. This year our 97 Altima failed due to the headlights being too dim (same problem the Civic had last year after the accident) and a crack in the intermediate tailpipe. While they didn't offer to fix the tailpipe, the guys at Accurate Tune Plus did offer to clean my headlights for $70. SEVENTY DOLLARS? As if everything else I've mentioned wasn't enough of a reason to consider their business practices crooked and unscrupulous. They wanted to charge me 70 bucks for 3 ounces of plastic polish and 8 minutes of elbow grease. Um... thanks but no thanks.

I went and got the tailpipe fixed at Big Al's mufflers, and stopped at K-Mart on the way home for a bottle of Plastx plastic cleaner. Two hours, 6 dollars, and 60 cents later I came back to Accurate Tune with my tailpipe fixed, headlights cleaned up and ready for my free (ha!) re-inspection. Not only did I pass inspection with flying colors, but for some strange reason they seemed extremely happy to see me drive away.

What a scoundrel.